Asparagus Feta Filo Fucker

I've nearly been in Berlin two months already, when you have all the time in the world, it still seems like not enough time to do the things one would like to. I think as humans, we are mislead to believe that we should be exceptional at everything. Renaissance people; capable of indulging all of our ambitions, mastering every one of our crafts, excelling in all hobbies, being more incredible than our neighbours, and still having time to spare for a normal life. Bigger, better, faster, stronger, more efficient, higher yields, greater income etc etc. I'm not saying that it's impossible to juggle loads, or that ambition is at all a bad thing. On the contrary, I think ambition is one of the most venerable human qualities; I'm just trying not to beat myself up about not being a Master of the Universe (yet). 


On the other hand, I realise I do have to try harder, set goals, make deadlines and stick to them in order to get the most out of life. I also am trying to be less passive, chasing things that make me happy, and trying to dial down my empathy for others a bit, because sometimes I put other people's feelings too far ahead of my own, & am not honest about my own thoughts or feelings. Let's call this a mid year resolution. I need to get over the idea that I'm forever letting people down or hurting their feelings...unless of course it's true...

There has been so much change in the air, forks in the road, forks in my heart, forks in my mind; my life sometimes feels like a cutlery drawer falling from a second story window, fucking forks everywhere! Right now I'm sitting by the window of my third story room in a quiet North Friedrichshain apartment. It's a very quiet back street location in the former GDR of East Berlin. It's a very peaceful & unassuming neighbourhood; not at all touristy. I'm looking at two new green friends I bought for my window sill. Yep, living and breathing plants. I love green space, and living things. I was pretty excited in May when Berlin was flooded with an influx of grün Spargel, or "green asparagus" as we say in English. I fucking love asparagus (someone once told me it's an aphrodisiac, but I never checked the legitimacy of that fact). I wish I'd taken advantage of it more while it was readily available, as it was only €1 a bunch! Phenomenal, when in London it was usually about £3.50. Berlin is good like that, really close to Brandenburg where there are many farms and orchards bringing in fresh seasonal produce.

Before all of the asparagus disappeared, I managed to try something new with it. I thought with all of the filo pastry floating around Berlin (in the Turkish neighbourhoods at least) and that I could try a twist on the typical spinach & feta filo - instead trying an asparagus/spinach, nutmeg, feta & lemon filo pie. I was surprised that this isn't a common dish, because it's a really good filling for filo. The only problem with it was that I par boiled the asparagus & then soaked it in lemon juice before I put it in the pie. This is a great way to soak up the flavour, but obviously you're soaking up the juice as well, which isn't great for your pastry which needs to crisp up. I made the rookie mistake of forgetting to cook the base of the pie on the stovetop first, so the bottom was a bit soggy and fell out in places. I tried it a second time cooking the base, and it worked better with a few extra leaves of filo on the base as well as COOKING IT OVER THE STOVE. I think If I were to try it again, I might just use lemon zest and a little bit of lemon juice.

I won't bother including a recipe because it's basically the same as any other spinach filo pie. Time for a cup of tea I think :)

Oh, and if you could make strings from my guts today, their symphony would sound like this.

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Alles Gute zum Geburtstag! Happy Birthday Gemma!

For the most part, getting old sucks. Sure, we pretend that we are all getting wiser with age, and that with maturity comes fulfilment and clarity; but the reality is that there's a generation of younger, more technically abled & mercilessly intelligent children, nipping at our heels, ready to pounce & replace us as pack leaders the very second we show any sign of weakness. The weight of our fate at the hands of these usurpers is a terrible burden on the conscience; for this very reason we will do anything to forget our age when it's birthday time, the most common being getting drunk and burying our heads in food. On Wednesday night we did exactly that for Gemma's birthday, and it's a lucky thing all of her friends are brilliant in the kitchen, because it made for one hell of a potluck dinner (It was less of a "pot-luck", and more of a "pot-everything-is-gonna-be-fucking-awesome").

Everything was vegetarian, so naturally a panoply of salads were on offer; including a Mediterranean alphabet pasta salad with sundried tomato, olive, basil & feta. A beetroot, apple, tomato & spinach salad, & a lentil, cherry tomato, red onion, feta, cumin, lemon & coriander salad which I bought along.

Everything was of really high standard, but even so there were a couple of stand out dishes, including a sweet/savoury crumble (I'm not even sure what to call it), with an almost butter-biscuit like crust, caramelised red onion base & cherry tomatoes. Kind of like flammekueche I suppose. DAMN, it was good. The dish that bought be back three times was Ruben's chick-pea stew. I didn't catch the recipe, but I know it had a tomato base, and it was cooked for several hours until two whole aubergines disintegrated into the broth. The end result was a rich, thick, peppery melt in your mouth stew. I am going to chase the recipe for this and post it in the comments when I have it.


If our future lives as humble slaves to indigo-children is a grim prospect, then at least we can all live in moderate ease that we have approximately another decade of these birthday feasts before they take over.

Feta, Lentil & Coriander Salad

Ingredients:

• 200g feta cheese, cut into chunks
  
• 250g green or black lentils (or puy lentils)
  
• 200g cherry tomatoes, halved
  
• 1 red onion, halved and sliced
  
• 1 garlic clove, crushed
  
• 1 lemon, juiced
  
• 1 large handful of coriander leaves

Method:

• Simmer the lentils for 20 minutes until tender.
  
• Drain and dress with 3 tbsp olive oil, the lemon juice and garlic while still warm.
  
• Cool to room temperature then pile into a large serving dish and stir through the rest of the ingredients.

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